I'M HAVING FUN SO I DON'T CARE . . .

While I was helping Lincoln stay flat on his side so his ear drops could soak in, Jon cuddled Lynneah in his lap with one of our special camping quilts wrapped all around them.  He got a little smile on his face and told me, "I'm not getting anything done but I'm having fun with my granddaughter and I don't care".  A major lesson for him.  Some word show is on the TV.  It 's the one on PBS where all the animals are made out of the letters of their name.  Lynneah is more quiet and still than she usually is.  I think it is the relaxed comfort of a Grandpa who is in no hurry.  One that is focused on her and her need for snuggles right now.

Isn't she fortunate to have a grandparent who can do that?  We both forget that the time with them is precious and so fleeting.   That lesson was deeply ingrained into our minds and hearts the last few months and weeks.  We live in chaos and way too much stuff accumulated over the years but we just decided that when we have the munchkins here, it is all about them.  Yes, that has added to the chaos but when most of the grandkids have looked up at you with big eyes full of sparkle and innocently told you that they love to come over here because they can always find new treasures (my sewing room is the treasure room), and there is always good stuff to make other good stuff with, what can be better than that.  It is interesting to see what they manage to unearth and can be awkward to explain, "Just what is this?"

We also have the greatest hill of sand to dig in.  It is slowly melting into the rest of the bare yard, so we will soon need to find a way of piling it back up, best babysitter in the world.  the basketball hoop will be up when we find a place that won't be in the way of the "grass" when we install it. Yes, we said install.  I am going lazy and water/weed free.  No time will be wasted on that when we have better things to do!!

Life is good.  This will take lots of work, especially when we need to beat the heat, but with the new plan we came up with this morning . .  together . . .  it will happen.

Life is good as long as we decide to make it good.  The challenges, worries will still be there, but we are setting some of those on the shoulders of our Savior.  We will accept His atonement and let taht wonderful gift help us help others as we help ourselves.

A new day. A new week. A new body. A new start.

I am so grateful for the renewal in my life that took place Friday night and continued through yesterday. I'm glad that I didn't let the tired over ride the promptings that took me where I needed to be for a few more hours. I am thankful for the friends who were glad to see me and let me know.

I am thankful for the lifting of "stress" or what ever has kept my poor hip so tied up in knots that I could hardly walk. On to my goal to be able to hike with Jon again so we can "run away" from time to time.

I am blessed and life is good.

Such a bittersweet day this has been.  Rob's National Guard Unit had it's Send Off Ceremony.  They will be leaving in the wee hours of the morning for two months and then hopefully will come home for 4 days before heading for the Middle East.

We are proud that he loves this great nation but it does break a mother's heart to see the baby she once cuddled in her arms being trained the way a soldier has to be and then to watch him go for such a long time to such an uncertain situation.

I grew up with my mom telling me how bitterly her mother wept the day after my Uncle John (her brother) graduated from high school.  He and several friends went and signed up for the draft during WWII.  Grandma Annie hated to see someone with such a soft heart to go into that.  I kind of understand how Grandma felt, even though I have had more time to get used to the idea.  Not sure yet if that has made it harder or easier.

My mind has wandered back to the day that the first planes took off for Desert Storm.  As Mariah and I drove back to Holbrook from Snow Flake, my heart ached so badly I could hardly drive and try to answer my young daughter's questions.  How do you tell such a little girl that you are afraid that her little brother may end up on the other side of the world . . . not on a vacation.

Now, after 22 years, my fears are being realized.  My son will be leaving to go into, only Heaven knows what.

Am I ranting, yes.  As much as I have been grousing, I have held so much in and my poor husband has carried so much and held it in so well.  Sleep has become a stranger in our home.  Headaches, worry, heart burn, stomach aches and short tempers have become almost constant companions.  But at the same time, I have found that Jon & I can still be each others' leaning posts.  We can still go to our loving Heavenly Father who understands how we feel, our fears and anxieties.  We can still join in prayer and call on our elder brother, Jesus.  We can draw on a life time of faith and trust to watch over our son and place our troubles and worries on His shoulders as we try to be there for all of our children and their children.   As we open our hearts to each other to draw close, to care for the eternal promise that we made to each other and God almost 35 years ago, life is still good.  The world can not take that from us without our permission.

I am blessed.