Monday, January 18, 2010

JUST IN CASE ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS . . . . AND TO PROVE THAT HEAVENLY FATHER HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

Have I ever mentioned that I really made out like a bandit in the in-law department? One of my cute sisters-in-law, Charlotte, emailed this to me a while back and I just found it again while clearing out some of the hundreds of emails stored in my account.

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
' DON'T !'
'Don 't what ? ' Adam replied.

'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said.

'Forbidden fruit ? We have forbidden fruit ?

'Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! '

' No Way ! '

'Yes way ! '

'Do NOT eat the fruit
! ' said God.

'Why ? ''Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked !

'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit
? ' God asked.

'Uh huh,' Adam replied.

'Then why did you
? ' said the Father.

'I don't know,' said Eve.

'She started it! ' Adam said.

'Did not
! '

'Did too ! '

'DID NOT ! '

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the
pattern was set and it has never changed.
(Now admit it, this is just how angelic all of our kids looked to us when we got them, whatever age they may have been. What a good way to trick us!)

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you
?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.


2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said


5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself tha
t there are children more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are
still getting in.


ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day


AND FINALLY:


IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:




'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!

7 comments:

Brianna said...

I think my favorite part is the last line! hehe!

Liz said...

This is cute! I liked number 6...hilarious!

Linda said...

Pretty funny, and I can relate!

Courtney said...

That's pretty funny. Thanks for sharing.

Dunklees said...

That is too funny! We have gotten to the stage where I am wishing my children on themselves when they have kids!

Sharron said...

Watch what you wish for Stephanie . . . you might be babysitting! It can turn sweet revenge into a bittersweet experience pretty quickly!

Amanda Griggs said...

This was hilarious! Thanks for posting it!