THE IRISH PRIEST

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas ..

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a

Fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station......

The conversation went like this:

''Good morning This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?''

''And the best of the day to yerself.. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church . There's a jackass lying dead on me front lawn "

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, ''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites !''

There was dead silence on the line for a moment...........................................

Then Father O'Malley replied:  "Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''

All meant in fun, I love my big brother, the former cop and I really love my hubby, the former cop. 

How to Give Your Hubby a Heart Attack . . in One Easy Step . . or Never Be Bored

Hahahahaha! I just gave poor Jon a heart attack. I was working in the kitchen listening to the news. Our "Illustrious . . . (sorry, just can't call him a leader) . . whatever he is" starts talking about the oil situation and blah, blah, blah and then I realize he is still running for office and blaming all the problems on the republicans. New flash . . . the election is over and I am tired of everyone still pointing fingers, in every direction!

I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF POLITICIANS! ESPECIALLY THE ONES WHO HAVEN'T A CONSTRUCTIVE THOUGHT IN THERE HOLLOW CRANIAL CAVITIES!

Anyway, I started hollering and saying how sick and tired of him and all the other brainless, spineless politicians as I stomped into the family room and turned off the TV. As I turned to go back into the kitchen I saw poor Jon standing there looking VERY tense. There was a look on his face that said, " OK, I can handle this, don't panic . . . . I shouldn't have laughed but when I told him that he should have left me in La-La Land where he found me so I would spend my life not worrying over the world my grand kids were being forced to live in. All he said was, "So your mad and it's my fault". DUH! I hardly had a clue when we got married . . . so "YES Jon, it's all your fault!"

Later I told him as sweetly as I could that this next week, while he is off and home on our "Staycation", he would not be bored. He and tensed up pinched his lips at me.

So what can we do locally so that I can make it up to him? Hahahaha . . . Any ideas? Cheap ones of course  ;-D

Sneaky Grandma . . .

Years ago, when Jon and I got a new mattress for Christmas, we had the one that he had bought when he bought his first home.  So here we were with a great bug old hunk of foam, what to do, what to do?  I wish I had my pictures organized so that I could flip right to some of the pictures that I took of the kids launching themselves off of a stool into the middle of that wonderful green and white mattress laying down the hallway.

It was winter so, we just left it laying there for a looooong ole' time.  It did get a little path down that middle of it after a couple of weeks, but as long as it kept the kids entertained, it was just fine.

I have used the foam from that mattress for so many different projects.  Just as I would decide to go ahead and toss the rest of it, I would price thick foam and keep it, over and over.  Last night I made a mini mattress for the pack and play that Lincoln has been sleeping in.  He discovered that he could pull up the bedding, pad and mat in the bottom of it and then he would jump all over it, while it was in various stages of folding and all over the fabric in the bottom of the pack and play.  I found that on a great sale and decided to grab it so I wouldn't have to fight the second hand one I had.  Don't feel like having it ripped up just yet.

So this morning the boys had a surprise, they got to jump all over it as long as they wanted.  They weren't sure what I meant, since I am forever telling them to stop jumping on the furniture, so I had to show them what to do, funny little guys.  It made for a relatively peaceful day, thank goodness.  Tuesday was a little rough but today made up for it.

Lincoln didn't eat a very big breakfast.  I guess the spoon I gave him to eat his lunch wasn't quite enough.  He seemed to feel the need to "shovel" it in!

Don't you just love the creativity of kids?  Too many of us loose that ability to think out of the box!  That's all I have to say about that little matter.

I Win !!

A long time ago, I bought this little baby because there was one at work and I loved using it.  Mr. Black and Decker has served me and several members of our family very well.
The time came when it was hard to find batteries and they were giving up the ghost right and left.  then the clip that held the battery in had broken.  Next was the switch to reverse the direction of the revolution of the bit.  Sorry Mr. B-D, you are going the way of all loved and well used hand tools and off to Dumpsterland you go.

Now being a firm believer in the rule that, "Him who gots the most, wins". . . . I have prepared for this sad day.    First we got the big ole drill with an 18V battery.  In case you didn't know, the bigger and heavier, the harder it can jerk your wrist when it jams on you.  Mr. B-D was only 9V.  these Ryobi hurts!

Not to be out done, OK, we were building food storage, our little right angle drill to get into tight places.  Very handy, but it is hard to put pressure at the right angle, to push a screw in straight.  Oh and it came with a little companion, a power caulking gun . . . who knew there was such a thing.  Stephen suggested that I get one, and I was so glad when I found "the deal"?  I can never keep up with those silly things, not even the bright orange one . . . but THIS  one never gets lost, I love it too much!!  My poor sore hands really love it.

A couple of weeks ago, when Jon and I were looking for parts to fix my Chinese made faucet to stop the dripping.  I saw this darling little thing . . .

It doesn't look so small, but this will show the size differences.  Don't you just love it?    Just right for my stumpy little hands and it is 12 V.  It came with a little impact drill that Jon will probably use just a bit (lot) more than I do.  Not sure my hands would stand up to it very well. I saw they were down to the last combo pack and grabbed it.  I got a free extra battery as well.

So to all you guys . . . . "When you add my 4 sanders, all different, almost, two small palm ones, and all of our treasures . . . .   I WIN  !!! "  Just don't hate me.

Anyone want to hear about my adventures as I butter up, kiss up, con . . . . I mean, love, encourage, support poor Jon over the next week and half?   Poor guy came home with terrible allergies, sure glad I just got a big supply of Allegra on Tuesday . . . for both of us.

For tonight, we can have a lovely dinner with grilled cat fish, coated with delicious Penko bread crumbs with a  cool, crisp  salad and steamed broccoli with cheese sauce on the side.  Hummmm, sounds like a nice lightly flavored ice cream is called for, don't you think.  We can call it our Anniversary (33) dinner.   And to complete our romantic evening, I can use my Dremel tool to give our dogs a little pedicure   . . .  that's the life.

Guess I will go and get the ice cream while Jon snores on the couch here.  Funny Jon . . . think I'll keep him.

Dopamines

Today I saw my general practitioner.  We were talking about how I put some weight a few months ago and am having such a hard time getting back on the wagon and staying there. She told me about some research she had come across recently.

When we are craving a particular food, it has nothing to do with our bodies needing something in that food.  When they say we are food addicts, they really mean it.   When we get to finally consume the food that we are craving, our brains release dopamine, just like they would if we had gotten a fresh hit from drugs.

Isn't that interesting?  It was kind of funny, but I don't think she expected me to believe her.  I believe her completely!  I have had that experience so many times.  And some times I want something so badly that I could do something awful until I get it.



So now that I am off of  the colas and caffeine, how do I get control of these ridiculous cravings?  In the past I have noticed that once I get control of the appetite, I can get control of so many areas of my life.  I guess I can only do the best I can and then get on my knees.  I know I can't do it on my own.  Not the time to be full of pride right now.

Next Morning:  So here I sit eating my green enchilada, with only two tortillas and a ton of lettuce and grape tomatoes.  Yummmm, may I say.  I also put cheese on the top since I had some left-over chicken.  I even weighed the chick and cheese.  Baby steps?

Be Still My Heart !

Today I went to the doctor for my 6 month check up.  Good news, my heart is still beating and my lungs are still breathing  . . lucky world, I'm going to be around for a little longer.  Then I went to the lunch for all of us golden gals, whose hearts are still beating and lungs are still breathing.  So fun.

At the end of the lunch Marilyn brought a couple of video tapes over to me.  We seem to have a little thing going on here.  Both are trying to clear out our homes and love to offer stuff to the other.  Pretty funny, but today she succeeded with pawning something off on me.  The movie Rose Marie.   You know the one.   Jeanette McDonald sings the song "Indian Love Call"  with Nelson Eddy.

My mom used to swoon to that song . . . along with a few others, mainly sung by Mario Lanza.

So tonight, I am listening/watching Rose Marie while I pretend that I am being ambitious . .  or something like that.  Such a nice little stroll down memory lane.  Hope you get to look over my shoulder while it is playing Mom.  If you can, we can swoon together . .  sound good?

Mighty Mouse of the Huishes

Now, one reason that we got this little beater, is so that Jon can driver it back and forth to Phx to save $$ on gas.  It did need some work, so we had some of it done . .  the funny thing is that we haven't been able to have the rest of it done.  The mechanic has a list, waiting, growing and waiting some more so that we would be comfortable sending it out on the highway.  

We bought the ugliest little beater truck from Stephen a while back.  Now we have seemed to attract ugly vehicles over the years, but this one really takes the purple grand prize ribbon!  I would take a picture and post it, but it seems to have a new home.  The mechanics place, the one with the watch geese, no I am not kidding.  I only had my cell phone when I saw them so I need to have Rye email the pic I took of them, so funny to watch.

Anyway, I seem to take it over or pick up some one who is down a car so they can drive it while theirs is being fixed.  It has gotten to the point that we had Rob just leave it down there for Sarah to drive off in when she takes her car in, again, this afternoon.  Hope they don't start charging us storage fees . . . .


Confession:  I had planned to get a license plate that said PUT PUT to put on the front just to tease Jon.  I have changed my mind, I have decided it should be named "Mighty Mouse" . . . because it is always there to save the day!