Dear Dad,

I wrote to Mom a few days ago as I was going through the tree ornaments, many of which I had helped her pick out.  it brought back some wonderful memories.  As the days passed by, I strolled down that little path, I also had some fun memories with you.

Did I ever tell you how much I loved getting an old dried out bread crust in the toe of my stocking next to the orange?  We passed that little custom down to Mariah. She loved it too.  I don't know if we ever did it to Sarah, she just wasn't ornery enough to pick on most of the time.  Mariah also got a few empty candy wrappers like I did.  None of my kids liked the cut candies or ribbon candies, so they didn't get those much.

My favorite Christmas memories with you are two particular ones.  Remember in Albuquerque when we were having to live so tight and you two decided that we would not have a tree?  We kids badgered you both to death until you finally took us driving out of town where someone had been selling blue spruces on Christmas Eve afternoon.  I just remember driving along an irrigation ditch to get to the house.  It was a beautiful tree and they gave us quite deal on it.  When we got it home, you actually helped us set it up, then you and I put the lights on.  I remember how much fun it was running in and out to make sure that no two bulbs of the same color were next to each other.  I knew this was a special night since you never helped decorate the tree that I could remember.  Oh how I loved it!  the next morning we got up to snow!!  As far as I can remember, that only white Christmas we had while I was growing up!

My next favorite memory was a year when you and Mom were "kind of on the outs".  You always loved pulling jokes on every one and enjoyed having them pulled on you too!  So while I was shopping one day, I came across some very naughty little nighties . . .  hmmmm . . . this could be some fun.  I picked out a tiny black sheer set trimmed with little tiny red ribbon bows.   When I came home I wrapped it, had you fill out a tag (you did it with no questions asked, weird, huh?  I suppose you figured I had bought something to spare her feelings) taped the tag on the "gift" and put it under the tree.  Buster handed it to Mom the next morning to open(poor guy had no idea what was about to happen).  She was sitting on the arm of the couch and you were sitting right next to her.  When she opened it up and saw what it was, she started hollering and hitting you over the head with the box.  Aren't you glad that it was a very small and light weight?  We kids had the biggest laugh over that and would go in and look at the "gift" from time to time and laugh all over again.  Both of you tried to be mad at me, but I knew you too well and saw you thought it was pretty funny that your shy little girl would pull something like that.   You would not believe how absolutely embarrassed I was to buy that thing!  Naughtiest thing I have ever or will ever buy!  Oh was it ever worth it though.  Helped clear the air and lift some of the gloom that was hanging over us all.

BTW, you know that you only have yourself to blame don't you?  You were such a stinker sometimes!  It was sure fun though and we all loved it.

Speaking of Stinkers, do you know that Rob's little dolls are now little stinkers?  They laughed when I told them that came from my daddy calling me stinker when I was a little girl.  Probably thought their daddy was pulling their legs!  When Arianna told me that she didn't stink, I told her that she should trust me, some of her diapers had been good and stinky!!  Neither of them have attached it to their names the way I did.  Does that mean that they aren't as gullible as I was?

Dad I have had a worry that surprised me to no end.   I have worried about whether or not you are happy now.  That probably sounds ridiculous to you from the perspective you have now, but I can't help it.  I know we have all been promised that the next stage of our existence will be much better and happier, but I am Mom's daughter and worrying is buried deep in my soul.

Your last few years were so lonely and sad.  I knew that you were living with so many disappointments and seemed to feel so helpless in how to gain back some of the better things in your life.  We all make decisions every day and then have to deal with the consequences.  My heart did ache for you.  I learned some lessons as well.  I have shied away from many decisions that I may have made if I had not seen what became of your life.  I hope that you are happy that your life lessons taught the next generation in many ways.

I love you Dad.  I miss you enjoying my kids.  They are quite the threesome and you would really get a kick out of the spunk and fire they all seemed to have passed down to the next generation.  You would also be disappointed that all of them have been able to say the word "truck" correctly  . .  ornery old geezer!

So I hope you had a Merry Christmas and  that you are enjoying the Lord's love and peace.   Good night, I love you.